


Mission Log 48

by laurelofthestory



Category: Nuclear Throne (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Delusions, Descent into Madness, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insanity, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 03:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11523972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurelofthestory/pseuds/laurelofthestory
Summary: He just had to keep it together for a few more minutes, he told himself. He wasn't sure what was going to happen after he sent the message, but at least it would be out there for someone to hear. Even if he didn't come home, at least someone would know what had become of him.





	Mission Log 48

**Author's Note:**

> I give the little guy a happy ending in my other fic, and here remind everyone that his ending isn't exactly supposed to be that happy. Whoops.

_[Somewhere in the I.D.P.D. database, locked behind secure firewalls and meant to only be visible to those who were overseeing the Frozen City apocalypse timeline mission, there is a sound file labeled “ATLog48.ogg”. The file notes describe it as a recorded transmission that was sent to the addresses of several I.D.P.D. communicators, but was intercepted by the headquarters before it could be received. No one has looked at it since several weeks ago, until an unknown user bothers to play it.]_

_[It’s a rather large audio file, and it takes a while to load, the waiting symbol on the computer’s media player mocking the user as it spins seemingly endlessly. After what feels like an eternity, the file finally begins to play--blasting the user with a loud burst of static and faint clicking noises, along with the deep sound of rushing wind against the microphone. The volume is quickly turned down, but has to be raised again for fear of missing the words that eventually come through the static.]_

“Hello? Hello, is this--is this working, is this on? Hello?”

_[The voice sounds as if it belongs to a prepubescent boy, high pitched and childish--and yet, it’s more tired and weary and breathless than any child’s voice should be. The speaker seems to be tripping over his own tongue, stammering, fumbling his words as if his mouth cannot keep up with his brain. The speaker gives a brief burst of quiet, but rapid and high-pitched laughter.]_

“Oh geez. I’m asking if a RECORDING is turned on. Like it’s gonna answer. Okay. Okay okay okay.”

_[A few moments pass of deep breathing, as if the voice is trying to calm itself down. When he next speaks, it starts off very deliberate.]_

“This is a recorded S.O.S. message from I.D.P.D. Elite Gunner Aleksei Toivanen, callsign Hunter, personnel I.D., uhhhh...shoot, hell if I remember, uh, I don’t think I could read it if it was here, a three is a six is an eight and nine--nine doesn’t exist!”

_[More laughter, this time loud and hysterical and abruptly cut off.]_

“Uh, uhhhhh, okay, okay, okay...I’m--uh--I’m gonna be sending this a lot hoping it’ll go through, there’s a lot of radiation and it’s hard to get a signal outside of official I.D.P.D. channels--so I don’t know when anyone’s getting this but I’m sending it to personal comms because I don’t think MOCR is actually answering my calls anymore since I’ve been yelling at them for like four days now and no one’s actually said anything so! That’s probably a bad idea! So I guess take the message to them if you’re hearing this and if you’re not, uh, it doesn’t matter?”

_[Another brief outpouring of giggles, before the voice gives a heavy sigh.]_

“I...I think this might be the last log I do for this mission. Or, you know...ever.”

_[There’s another brief pause, as if the speaker is collecting his thoughts.]_

“Okay. S-so if anyone doesn’t know I was...sent here to some apocalypse timeline, I don’t remember which one...and I was sent after some kind of yeti-mutant that had wrecked the city and scared off anyone who was still alive in it. Well, uh...”

“There is no yeti.”

_[He sounds like he’s about to cry when he says this, but quickly gathers himself.]_

“B-but--there are a lot of robots, hairy robots, big robots, dog robots, big hairy dog robots!”

_[A long string of gibberish ensues, with the word ‘robots’ occasionally thrown in.]_

“--Oh right, okay, focus, Hunter, focus, just for a few minutes--sorry, my head’s in a bad place, my brain feels like it got put in a blender that had brains in it. My brains. In a--okay.” 

“I was gunned down by one of them and I landed in a puddle of green substance. Gummed up my respirator. Don’t know how long I was inhaling it for. Kept running. Lots of running. Found a cave. Hid out there. Uh--green substance, described as ‘rads’, that’s the name. The n-n-nickname, I mean. I--”

_[It seems he’s having some trouble getting his mouth to form words, only letting out a few more stammering noises for several seconds. He stops himself and takes a deep breath.]_

“Um. Yeah. So, compromised. Probably why they aren’t answering me I told them I needed out but they cut me off and hung up on me I need out please help, please please please, I need help, please, help me, I don’t wanna be here I don’t wanna die please--”

_[The words come out in a rush; he’s gibbering, and choking up again, but very quickly switches back to a normal, even grim tone.]_

“...Rads’ effects on humans up to now undocumented from internal perspective. Substance is...is  _very highly_ psychoactive. S-symptoms included, uh, they set in about half an hour after I got to the cave--symptoms included...nausea, dizziness, vertigo, disorientation...generalized pain...it was like I had a fever, I don’t know what that feels like ‘cause we can’t get fevers anymore but I imagine it’s what it felt like I was hot...loss of motor control...and...and very vivid auditory and visual hallucinations.”

_[The speaker takes several shaky, uneven breaths.]_

“There was other stuff too probably but I don’t remember. Don’t know how long it lasted I--I think I came down about...f-five hours later? The substance also has an effect like...like a stimulant, like an adrenaline shot, I--I still can’t stop shaking, I haven’t felt this energetic in YEARS!”

_[The hysterical laughter, absent for a little while, comes back in full force, peaking the audio. It goes on for a solid ten seconds.]_

“...I want to do it again. Not the rest of it but the--the energy I could run miles but I know that this stuff is apparently addictive and I can tell I’m getting a headache and it’s been a few days since then. So maybe that’s why they don’t come, or they just  _hate me and want me to die._ I don’t want to die...”

_[More laughter, but it’s weaker this time, and seems to be interspersed with sobbing.]_

“I’m scared. God i’m scared, please, please someone help, but if someone comes I don’t know what’ll happen because I’m scared, but I want to go back but they hate me and they did this on purpose and NO ONE IS  ** _EVER GOING TO COME BECAUSE THEY HATE ME!”_**

_[The screaming peaks the mic again.]_

_**“YOU HATE ME, DON’T YOU?! ALL OF YOU. EVERY SINGLE ONE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH I HATE YOU I HATE I HATE--”**  
_

_[He stops. There’s a few seconds of just frantic wheezing breaths, mixed with sobs.]_

“...come on, Hunter, just hang on...”

“...if I don’t come back....”

“...first of all tell the Captain to  _screw herself for this I don’t care if I get in trouble she HATES ME--”_

_[Another pause.]_

“Uh. Tell Shielder Ismail to forget about the ten bucks he owes me.”

“...and Ali, I’m--I’m gonna send this to Ali but if it doesn’t go through somebody find her because she needs to know that...that s-she was right about something bad happening and I always said she worried too much but I was wrong and she was right  _but she won’t come either I want her here but I want her to be safe and okay but I don’t want to be alone but she HATES--”_

...

“She doesn’t. That’s not fair. Ugh--my head...”

_[For a long while, there’s only silence and the sound of breathing.]_

“...I think I’m gonna sign off here...I don’t have much more in me...I guess if anyone gets this just...let them know what happened.  _Please._ Please tell them what happened.”

_[He’s full-on crying now, his words nearly incomprehensible.]_

“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die...”

_[The speaker continues to repeat this for some time, getting increasingly faster and louder until he’s screaming it. His voice abruptly drops in volume, and he says something else, sounding frightened, but it’s too quiet and garbled to be decipherable.]_

_[The audio file ends there. The ‘replay’ button mocks the user. As if she’d want to hear this again--]_

_[The door opens and she abruptly closes the open windows on the computer, launching herself under the desk and barely daring to breathe as an elite enters the administration computer room. All the while, she’s fuming.]_

_[The file had been received weeks ago. No one had told her a thing. Who knows what state he’_ _s in now...]_

_[She resolves then and there that she's going to find out. She’s going to find him and she’s going to save him. If only so he knows that someone, somewhere still cares about him.]_

_[She can only hope it isn't already too late.]_


End file.
